Vanessa Diffenbaugh Quotes

I’m very interested in getting inside the heads of people society discards, people on the fringe, especially immigrant kids. We dismiss them without getting into details of who they are.

My last book, ‘The Language of Flowers,’ I wrote completely on naptime, when my little kids were asleep.

I did a minor in creative writing in college, but I didn’t start writing until I stayed at home with my own children.

We were pressured to accept kids we were not qualified to handle. And we do that to people all the time, which is why we don’t have enough foster parents.

It is stories – both real and fictional – that can captivate hearts, change minds and, in the most powerful examples, spur action.

Writing has always been an interest of mine, and ‘The Language of Flowers’ combined my experience with foster care with something I’ve always wanted to do.

Every second I have spare, I’m with my kids.

I have spent a lot of time with foster children over the years – kids for whom I have not necessarily acted as a foster parent.

Though politics is by nature divisive, surely we all can agree that foster children need stability, safety, education, opportunity – and love.

As a college student, I worked as a mentor, and that got me involved in working with young people long before I became a foster parent.

There aren’t always, especially in low-income communities, the arts and the dance and the drama and the things that can really show a kid, ‘Look, even if I’m three years behind in math, there’s something I’m good at that can help me be successful in life.’

I’ve always loved the language of flowers. I discovered Kate Greenaway’s ‘Language of Flowers’ in a used bookstore when I was 16 and couldn’t believe it was such a well-kept secret. How could something so beautiful and romantic be virtually unknown?

I am not only the person who wrote and sold a novel while raising a houseful of biological and foster children; I am also the person who wrote a horrific young adult novel that never sold and gave up on a foster child I couldn’t handle – an experience that still haunts me.

My husband and I vowed that after we married and settled down, we would become foster parents – a vow we kept and one that has enriched our lives greatly.

We can become anyone we want to become. It takes focusing on the aspect of ourselves we want to change and reflecting on the beliefs that cause us to act in ways that are counter to the change we seek.

First drafts are never any good – at least, mine aren’t.

I don’t think there is anything magical about the language of flowers in real life or in my book.

Our standards for motherhood are so high that many of us harbor intense, secret guilt for every harsh word we speak to our children, every negative thought that enters our minds.

I’ve worked with homeless kids, kids in foster care, and I’ve never met a kid who couldn’t be reached.

I think that the hardest thing about working with young people in foster care who’ve been through this kind of neglect and abuse is really to convince them that they are worthy of being loved. And I think because often they don’t feel worthy of it, that’s why they push people away.

My husband was working as principal of an urban transformation high school – the kind of public charter school determined to do whatever it takes to give its mostly minority, low-income student body the education they need and deserve to be successful in life.

There’s a certain freedom in writing when you don’t know if you’ll ever have an audience.

We are more and more into technology. Everything is texting, and everything is instant. Flowers are completely impractical as a method of communication when you could just send a text.

I love Toni Morrison and Jeanette Winterson. ‘The Passion’ is my favourite book.

The most violent and troubling stories become part of our national consciousness about foster care.

At Camellia Network, we believe if we can create a way of identifying every young person aging out of foster care, defining what they need, and giving a community of supporters a simple and clear way to fulfill those needs, we can produce radically improved outcomes for youth.

You have to really prove yourself to young people, and if your answer is clear and consistent and loving – even if it’s angry and disappointed – what’s important is that you’re being real and honest and not going anywhere.

I’m missing work. We didn’t have enough money for preschool. I had a panic attack. I couldn’t do it. I became one of those horrible foster parents who give the kids back.

We all make mistakes, and we all need second chances. For youth in foster care, these mistakes are often purposeful – if not consciously so; a way to test the strength of a bond and establish trust in a new parent.

The names of common flowers change from decade to decade, so I spent a lot of time with old outdated dictionaries, with awful flower names like ‘mouse-eared chickweed.’

There’s still something so pure and heartfelt and emotional and genuine about a bouquet of flowers that, even with all the advances of technology and the millions of ways we have to communicate with each other, flowers are still relevant in my opinion.

I never really considered writing something that was nonfiction.

I traveled a full two years with ‘Language of Flowers.’

Everyone needs something they’re good at. You want your kids to be passionate and figure out something they’re good at.

I wanted to write with emotional honesty and tell a story people could connect with. And I wanted people to know how the foster system in America fails children; and how, at 18, they fall through the cracks. Then we can all work together and give support.