Sid Waddell Quotes

He’s about as predictable as a Wasp on speed.

He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.

It’s a form of mental and verbal gymnastics, and one of the things that appeals to me most about commenting on darts is that no one knows exactly what I’m going to come out with next – and neither do I.

Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water-buffalo with a pea-shooter.

When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27.

That’s the greatest comeback since Lazarus.

He’s as cool as a prized marrow!

Well as giraffes say, you don’t get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.

It’s like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline.

I’m a postmodern commentator, and so, in a cheeky parallel to James Joyce or James Kelman, I get to places, verbally, that are a little unusual – when I talk about Jocky Wilson and end up sounding like a Jackson Pollock of the commentary box.

I talk fast because I’m asthmatic, and I’m desperately hoping the words get out before my breath fails.

Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.

There hasn’t been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.

The thing about darts is that you’ve got to shout. It’s not like cricket where you can talk to Michael Atherton and ask him to analyse the bloody nuances. Darts does not have nuances. You’ve got to hurl yourself at it.

Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.

I’m the world’s worst after-dinner speaker. I need pictures to respond to. I was the voice of the lottery balls once and got the sack.

At various points, I’ve had a massive chip on me shoulder. I had fights about me accent with loads of those fellers you get from third-class public schools. They used to think I was speaking German.

Golden rule of life: never underestimate your rivals.

The thing with darts players is they have always appeared available. They don’t have to live like monks. I’ve only ever met one dry player in 35 years.

That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!