Limmy Quotes

The only thing I worry about over-sharing is boring people.

I find heartbreaking stuff really funny.

There are so many different ways of making people laugh and sometimes you sit down to watch something that everyone says is hilarious and within a couple of minutes you realise its comedy that isn’t for you.

I mean, maybe I’m alternative in that my stuff’s not mainstream, doesn’t want to be mainstream, could never be mainstream.

I think I was maybe a ned. I don’t know. I had a trakkie, a cap and got into trouble when I was younger and I don’t remember other neds round about me, so I suppose I must have been one. But a thinking ned, an intelligent ned.

I don’t feel comfortable calling myself a writer or a director or an actor.

I think most people like a bit of freedom and hearing things that they might not agree with, rather than just having everybody shutting their mouths.

For me, in my mind personally and privately, there are no limits to comedy.

I think everybody in the world should agree to no care about anything. But we’ll all have to do it at the same time.

My maw died when I was 20. You tune into the radio or the telly and life goes on. Things keep on happening. The world doesnae stop.

My issue with all sort of social justice stuff and leftie stuff, and I would put myself on a social justice leftie side, is some of the terminology is jargon.

Going to a pub when you’re not drinking is pretty boring.

I think I called myself an entertainer on my son’s birth certificate. That sounds a bit Sammy Davis Jr. or Brian Conley, the sort of guy you just drop into a room and let them ‘entertain.’

People say what they think online because it’s not to your face. That’s a good thing. You don’t really want people just being nice to you with their opinions.

The word ‘cult‘ is almost a nice way of saying a lot of people hate you, or have never heard of you. It means someone can come up to me in the street who‘s really into my stuff, who’s seen everything I’ve done, but the guy standing beside them has no idea who I am. Even in Glasgow. I think that’s cult.

I’ve got a sick sense of humour, a dark sense of humour. I do care about things and care about people but there’s another side to me.

Why do I want to annoy people? Because annoying people is funny.

My son likes Doctor Seuss books, but they’re right tongue twisters. You get to certain bits and you stumble your words and it makes you feel like an idiot.

A guy playing pool in a pub once said to me that they should put me on the telly. It went in one ear and out the other. But then I started thinking about it. I wondered how it all worked, did you have to be best mates with someone at the BBC who you went to uni with in Oxford?

You can get too involved with all the wee things in life, but the most important thing is you’re alive and well.

It’s in me to get steaming and to think too much, worry too much about the future, the past.

I really like violence in writing and films.

I actually don’t have a lot of faith in comedy.

The very first time I did stand-up, that was terrifying.

I felt I was a bit switched off for years, not really caring about things. I don’t know if that’s depression or whatever, but I was thinking ‘I might. Aye I will. No, I willnae’ as far as getting a second series goes.

I’ve always had something a wee bit up with me, but I think it’s some kind of learning difficulty. It’s always been something.

I do like crossing moral boundaries.

When streaming came out years ago I loved it. I loved having an audience, I loved chatting away and looking at a live chat and now on Twitch you can actually get a career at it.

I love ‘The Twilight Zone,’ the original black and white ones with Rod Serling’s wee bit at the beginning.

I would rather there’s somebody who is just a wee bit down in the dumps believing that they’ve got depression and going to the doctor and getting it checked out, than not, I’d rather that everybody was given the benefit of the doubt.

I sometimes wonder if I’m a psychopath.

Actually, I just want to entertain people. Put that in my obituary, a final picture, all dark in the background.

Once you get it in your head you’re finished with something, to go back, it hurts.

Being in somebody else‘s thing and saying their words and not having any right to change it – I don’t know how I’d deal with that. I’d like to think I could do it, but I just know I’ve got a dead particular taste.

I’m a pretty solitary type of person.

The day I say I’m famous is the day I sound like a fanny.

I’ve said things on Twitter that I’ve said deliberately because I think they’re out of order, I think that’s the sense of humour that I’ve got. I like saying things that I think are terrible, because it gives me a buzz.

I’ve said before I think the best thing about social media is that it brings people together and the worst thing about social media is that it brings people together. You’re assuming that the people following you know what type of person you are and what type of humour you have.

People who give off about fat-shaming and body-shaming are often the same people who talk about Trump‘s hair or how fat he is, or how old he is. The size of his hands and his fingers – that’s the big one: let’s all have a big laugh at his hands.

I think I was an alcoholic. There are all these grey areas about what makes you an alcoholic – you can’t cope without it, you stop caring about jobs and relationships, or you just binge.

There used to be such a thing as a sick joke, or laughing at misfortune, because comedy and laughter are a way of coping. And there is a kind of cruelty to it, but you can separate finding something horrible funny, and what you really think of it.

In my own mind, I can joke about anything.

I’ve just got a really sick sense of humour that’s separate from reality.

It’s fine if folk don’t like my sense of humour. But if somebody misunderstands, then that hurts a bit.

I think on my passport form I described myself as ‘entertainer,’ filling it in, in a Post Office or something. I felt like I should be doing jazz hands when I wrote that, but I don’t do anything else really.

I never made my website to try and get anywhere, it was just a laugh.

I don’t really read a lot. I got a few Booker Prize books and some others and thought I’d try this but quite quickly I just stick them down. I do like some Stephen King books but with some of them I just put them down as well. But I’m like that with telly stuff as well and films or music.

Daft Wee Stories’ is, as the title says, daft wee stories. I just sort of rattled them out, tried to make them quite funny, with punchlines – they’re kind of like sketches.