Denis Leary Quotes

George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live.

With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you’ll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head.

I can’t text. My fingers are too big.

I’m really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

I’m not really a Spider-Man fan. I’m more of a Batman guy.

No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever.

Anthony Mackie in ‘The Hurt Locker‘ is everything an actor can hope to be. So rock steady in his portrayal that you immediately forget every performance he may have previously given, and focus only on the character in front of you.

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture.

I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I’m ok with that because I’ve been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies.

Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he’s always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he’s important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O’Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.

I’m born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while.

I think we’re going to carry the ‘Ice Age‘s up to ‘Ice Age 15,’ which means basically they’ll be in the present decade.

Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I’m the maid in my house.

Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.

I’m really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen.

First of all, I have to have trucks because I live most of my time on a horse farm, so I’ve gotta have trucks. It’s in the northeast; I’ve got to have pickup trucks to move snow, number one. Number two, just if I’m driving, I don’t have to have an SUV, but I want a big car.

I went to see the ‘Spider-Man‘ movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.

Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction.

I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how’s that for prejudice on the Democratic side?

I didn’t raise my kids with the fear of God.

We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!

Good actors, especially when they know their character, will come in and either tell you in advance that they have an idea, or in the middle of the rehearsal or the scene they’ll let it loose and you go, ‘Ah that’s great.’

I obviously identify with the anti-authority figure. I’ve pretty much always had problems with authority, ever since I was a kid. But, yeah, it’s not identifying, I think it’s more a part of my natural DNA that I question anybody who has a plan. Everybody’s got to have an angle; that’s the way I grew up.

My charity is in the business of helping firefighters in any way that we can. For instance, after 9/11 we were the second-fastest charity to raise and distribute money to the widows and surviving family members of the 343 firefighters who died that day.

Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.

I love French stuff. Mmmm, french fries.

I’m no day at the beach. And if it is a beach, it’s Hampton Beach. Ever been there? It’s not nice.

My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave.

My biggest regret in life is that I didn’t hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.

It would be great if firefighters across the country had the guarantee that they would be making enough money to support their family right from the get-go, but that’s not the case.

Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I’m not necessarily funny all the time.

Doing the same character over and over, it gets boring.

I want you to take away the hope because that’s the thing that’s killing me.

I wasn’t the best student. I wasn’t stupid, but I wasn’t paying a lot of attention.

If you want a long-term relationship that doesn’t require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there’s no secret; you really have to appreciate the person every single day.

If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I’ve been out of work for a while.

I’m a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.

If you’re over 52 years old and you’re on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.

I spent a long time working in the movies to figure out that kind of acting and also how to write and produce for the screen.

My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come to New York.

I always hated the Grateful Dead. Never even bought a Led Zeppelin album.

If you had no enemies, you had no fun.

One thing that’s great about firefighters: If they don’t have the equipment they desperately need, they don’t have the help, they don’t care. They’ll do it on their own.

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.

I’ve been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I’ve never won one and I probably never will.

I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time.

I’d love to play in a Red Sox game. It would be so awesome to actually walk out on the field and play, just for one inning. I’d also steal everything I could get my hands on in the clubhouse, which is why they won’t let me do it.

You can have good writing, but a great actor will make it feel and sound like great writing. You can have great writing, and mediocre actors will make it feel mediocre. Without the actors, you have nothing.